There are a lot of people out there that will tell you things you don't want to hear in the belief that they are somehow being helpful. There are situations where it is actually sage advice, but plenty of people offer their 'help' without actually taking your feelings into consideration. So on this note I give you, my top 10 tips for handling criticism!
1) Is it actually criticism? Now, be honest, we can all be a little bit sensitive about thing so before you punch your best friends, aunties, cousin in the face just think for a minute, is what you think they are saying, what they are actually saying? Obviously of they just blatantly say "this is poo" then by all means punch them (in a totally made up scenario in your head, that's how writers handle stuff!). But, if they are saying "it's OK" then don't analyse the word OK, they might mean that its actually OK!
2) Don't show it to people you know will want to offer you their sound advice when you know full well they are talking rubbish and have never written anything in their lives; not even a text! Well maybe a text, but, they are the ones that abbreviate, brb or wknd. I grrrrr at those people!
3) Is the criticism valid? Not all criticism is evil, sometimes it's very helpful. If your target audience all leave reviews saying the words used are beyond their years, which can be especially true when writing for children, then these people have a point. Sometimes you just got to take it on the chin champ.
4) Buy a notebook. A pretty one. Just because you can. Because notebooks make us happy. Or any other kind of stationary really. Go on, treat yourself! Then use it to work your way through how you feel. Like therapy, only prettier!
5) Handle it with grace. Don't lay on the floor screaming and crying if someone says your writing is 'a bit far fetched' because people frown on that! Instead thank the person for their time and their opinion. Then when you get home, write a short story and have them decapitated in it! Job done!
6) Talk it over with someone you trust. I find taking criticism very hard, I take it very personally and it will often reduce me to tears because I'm way to sensitive. I am however lucky that I have a wonderful man in my life (we shall call him Flip) who sits and listens to my whining and sobbing before he gently coaxes me into talking about it like a grown ass woman. He always helps me to see the positive in whatever criticism I have had.
7) Take the important bits on board. Not all criticism is there to hurt you. Constructive criticism is actually very helpful, just take what you need from it.
8) Let it go. Don't dwell. Don't let one person dictate the way you feel about your writing, remember that you can't please all of the people all of the time. You are doing your best.
9) Work out your frustration at the gym. I actually shuddered writing that, obviously I have no place at the gym but I do like a bit of yoga. Any of your chosen forms of exercise can release those cheeky endorphins and allow you to feel more positive. Weather punching a big bag, pounding the treadmill or breathing exercises in your favourite pose, finding a way of self soothing is very important.
10) Stop being so hard on yourself. You are amazing. Don't give up!
Criticism comes in many forms but being able to recognise and handle it will set you apart from those that succeed and those that don't. Keep going and don't give up. Look at me, I have absolutely no followers but I'm still writing because one day the right person will read my stuff and want to follow my blog. But until then, I shall write because I love it!
Until next time........
Xx
